


The Things We Do For Love

by jaxonkreide



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dark, Dark Loki (Marvel), In a way, Kidnapping, M/M, Madness, Mind Meld, Soul Cannibalism, Suicide, Unrequited Love, all the horrible things that could happen when you eat someone's soul, there is literally nothing good to be found in this, tragic ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 23:17:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18860965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaxonkreide/pseuds/jaxonkreide
Summary: Loki ate Tony's soul. That was a good idea, right? Right??(continuation of "All You Had to Do..." by Raven_Ehtar)





	The Things We Do For Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Raven_Ehtar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Ehtar/gifts).
  * Inspired by [All You Had to Do...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18855307) by [Raven_Ehtar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Ehtar/pseuds/Raven_Ehtar). 



> lmao, I know I'm the person that made Ehtar write the soul cannibalism in the first place;;
> 
> and I just had to continue it XDD 
> 
> If you haven't read Ehtars fic yet, first what are you doing here?? Second please read it, because it's absolutely amazing!
> 
> I'd say sorry, but I'm not sorry. The fluffy after Endgame time is over and I had to kick it down into the ground by writing this XD

Loki had always been curious for more and more. More so than any other person that he knew.

He's always been called weird by Thor, by his friends... no one liked Loki and his thirst for knowledge.

Even Frigga did not want him to learn magic other than the one she approved off, but Loki? He just wanted more.

It was why the young boy kept sneaking into the library at night when everyone was asleep, searching for the dark tomes the librarians had hidden in the darkest of corners, protective spells on them so that none may touch.

Loki still got them, even if the protective spells hurt him and burnt his hands.

He continued stealing the tomes to learn everything he could, even when he was caught and before the Allfather.

They punished him for learning illegal magic. Magic so cruel even the Allfather disapproved it.

Loki asked him why a conqueror like him was so against this magic. Cruel and beautiful as it was. He never got the answer he wanted.

This was how Loki learned about souls. How to remove them from a person, leaving their mindless body behind. Still living, but reduced to a puppet you could arrange however you wanted.

In the past, the mages had only used this magic to crush someone's soul, to torture them far more intimately as they could on the body, to transfer a soul into another body or to create their own chess figure to move as they wanted.

Loki had taken Anthony's soul and ate it, wanting to be closer, ever closer to the man that had rejected him.

If he ate his soul, Anthony would always be with him, right? He'd be close to Loki, watching his every step and he would _never leave._

It sounded perfect in Loki's mind.

He didn't have Anthony's love, didn't have the man's heart, but he would have everything else.

And maybe in time, like that, maybe, he could gain Anthony's affection too.

Because while he would have everything of the man. The man would have everything of him as well.

Indeed, no one else had ever tried inserting a soul into a body that already had a soul, the thought too absurd for most people.

But Loki in his search for more, always more, had done so. He'd picked two people he didn't particularly like and stole one of their souls, merging them in the other body.

It had been interesting, far too interesting to watch the effects it had had on them.

He'd watched as they absorbed each other's memories and had taken them for themselves. Becoming a single person, yet staying different from each other. The original soul had kept the reigns of their now shared body, but they'd been together, always.

So confused at first, they'd tried to harm themselves. They had been screaming, trying to shy away from this new uncomfortable – at first – state of being.

In the end, Loki had to restrain them until they stopped fighting it, accepting their new existence. They had the knowledge of both of them, they were the same person. And yet they were also still two personalities.

The one in control told him about the other still being there talking in his mind. He had begged Loki to make it stop, but he stopped that a while later too. There were no more two voices at war and the one in control was still the same as always, just with more knowledge than he had before.

It was then that Loki had decided his experiment a success. Two souls could be merged together and it would do no harm to the person that took the other soul inside themselves, besides the discomfort in the beginning.

A way to earn more knowledge, but too painful for Loki himself to consider using it.

Well.

That was his opinion until he found Anthony.

Anthony, oh Anthony. Loki had never fallen so deeply in love with someone. Never had found a person that would fit with him so perfectly!

But Anthony couldn't see. _Didn't try_ to, he admitted just earlier.

All Anthony had to do was love Loki, but he didn't.

So Loki took matters into his own hands – quite literally – and took out Anthony's soul, eating it.

He'd make them fit together like those two people he experimented on, like they were supposed to fit together.

He wondered shortly how they were doing now, neither he nor anyone on Asgard had seen them again after he let them go. Loki always assumed they went away to fully enjoy living their new life together.

Loki felt a rush of power as _his_ Anthony's soul spread throughout his body, covering him like a warm blanket he hadn't realized he needed. Loki smiled blissfully at the sensation.

Anthony was within him, _all throughout him_ and Loki couldn't think of a happier moment in his life.

A hysteric laugh bubbled out of his throat. Anthony felt so good. So warm. So hot. _Hot like a blazing sun._

His laugh turned into a pained keen as Loki crumpled in on himself grabbing at his chest, feeling like it was burning up, burning up like a candle, _melting, wax flowing away, leaving nothing behind._

In irony, Loki thought of his real parentage, a jotunn, a monster made of ice. Of course, he would melt away with Anthony so close to him. Anthony had always been his star after all. A burning sun, so far away.

But even as he thought that, Loki started to grow accustomed to the new heat in his body.

It didn't stop, no it actually felt like it was getting worse still, but Loki pushed it out of his mind. Ignored the pain his body was in. _It would pass._

He just needed to wait.

His experiment had gone well after all.

And as the heat became his new norm, Loki relaxed on the ground in front of where Anthony's body was still tied up by his magic.

That wouldn't be needed anymore, he thought and gently let Anthony's body down, laying it down next to him, cuddling. To have his love in every possible way... Loki could only count himself the luckiest of all.

Loki closed his eyes, relaxing, parsing through all the feelings he feels coursing through his body that felt other. Not his own.

Slowly, Anthony's soul was spreading out again, after Loki had squeezed it almost _too_ tight, so he'd be able to swallow it.

With Anthony's soul came disjointed memories, flying through Loki's head, too fast to get more than glances for now. A child sitting alone and watching the sunset, smoke puffed in circles from the mouth, a large variety of women in bed, the occasional man as well, weapons, so many weapons, the faces of friends, the faces of enemies, Loki himself, Loki, _Loki, Loki,_ none of them seemed like happy memories, – it stung, – the cursed Avengers, pain, pain, panic.

The pictures Loki saw bled away, replaced by baser emotions, panic, _panic, fear, hopelessness, anger, RAGE, FEAR._

He was breathing too fast, _too fast._ Calm down. Breath slowly. Come on, you can do it. In... Out... In... Out. That's right, that's right, just like that!

Slowly Loki started to relax and stretch out again from where he'd started hugging his own knees to his chest.

His mind was still overwhelmed, he _didn't know_ , what was... That's what we call a panic attack, glad to have experienced one? I can tell you they can be way _worse._

Loki flinched together. What?

Oh, so first you eat my soul and then you are surprised when it blows up in your own fucking face? I always knew you were crazy, but I didn't think you'd actually be so fucking unhinged.

“A-Anthony?” Loki stammered, looking at his hands, he wasn't imagining this, was he? That was his Anthony's voice, but his body still was motionless on the ground next to Loki.

He swallowed. So it was true. He could actually hear Anthony's voice like the man he'd experimented on claimed.

He smiled, a rush of happiness coming over him. It worked! He had Anthony with him, always, forever.

Loki choked and his smile fell from his face when another wave of anger rushed through him, almost taking him over. What was that? Those weren't his emotions, he'd never be angry for having Anthony...

_Of course, you wouldn't be, bastard. You're satisfied with what's happening, yeah? You were the one that wanted all of me, so I know you will just love me making the whole rest of your life as miserable as possible._

Ahh, His beloved Anthony was sending him emotions, letting Loki feel what he did. He'd never been so close. Loki laughed in bliss, he grinned, he was _so happy. So close to his Anthony._

Loki sobbed out in joy, this was perfect, exactly as he had wished. Anthony...

He choked, gasped on air, tears streaming down his face. Everything was good, Anthony was with him. Why-?

Anthony kept pouring negative emotions into Loki.

He sobbed and screamed, but he- he _loved_ Anthony. He'd take it all. This was a blessing. A blessing from Anthony, his raw emotions, his...

It was so hot, so incredibly hot. Loki melted away, the warmth overwhelming him, too much, _too much!_

Anthony was-

Loki passed out, but his torture didn't stop there.

He was flooded by memories, all the vague glances he got at Anthony's memories before. They all came down on him, drowning him in his own mind, he couldn't breathe, couldn't get out, couldn't catch a break.

The memories- They hurt, they hurt so much, Loki wanted to claw his heart out, stop the pain, but he couldn't move, writhing in the darkness.

He saw Anthony over and over and he loved him. _He loved him! Too much, too much, Anthony, PLEASE!_

Anthony's memories only proved Loki correct, they fit _perfectly_ together. Anthony was perfect for him, _he was beautiful, intelligent._ He'd lived through _just as much_ pain, he'd been betrayed by the world _just as much_ as Loki. _They were perfect._

B-but. He saw himself through Anthony's eyes. Heard the man's thoughts. The disgust, _the pity._ Loki was clearly crazy and couldn't be helped. _He couldn't._

Loki screamed, he curled in on himself. Stop, _STOP!_ He screamed, he cried, he _begged._

Nothing helped.

Agony. Pure Agony. It was the only thing Loki could feel.

And Anthony too, Loki could feel it. They were in mutual agony, suffering only worsened by each other's feelings, a cursed feedback loop.

Anthony hated him, hated him _more and more_ and Loki _couldn't._ He couldn't stop loving him, holding him ever closer as Anthony burned him up.

Anthony hated Loki. Loki loved Anthony. Hated. Anthony. Loki. Loki, he-

Loki hated Loki.

A liar, a monster, a beast, a coward, coward... Couldn't take no for an answer, _couldn't stop loving._

Monster. _**Monster!**_

He cursed his Anthony, pulled him in, couldn't stop _touching_ him, couldn't stop _loving_ him, destroyed them both, he _loved_ Anthony. He didn't want him to suffer.

How did his test subjects survive this? How? It was pain, it was agony, worse than death.

Loki loved, _he loved!_ But he also hated. Himself. Horrible. Horrendous. Hurt. _He hurt Anthony._

Loki sobbed, he cried, he couldn't breathe.

When had he woken up again?

Anthony's body was still next to him.

Anthony.

Anthony?

Loki whipped his head around, looked through the room, where was?

He shook his head, he wouldn't find him here, he was inside. With Loki, yes.

Loki closed his eyes and searched for Anthony.

He was so cold.

Cold...

The fire in his veins had abated, only freezing cold left.

He couldn't find Anthony.

Couldn't...

Loki remembered the reports he had read on the many failed attempts to put a soul in a new body.

The soul burning up, disappearing, dying. Gone, forever.

He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see. Tears were obscuring his vision.

Breath left him in a scream.

He couldn't feel Anthony. Could feel all of Anthony. All his memories, all his feelings, everything. Anthony was gone and Loki didn't hear him anymore.

All that was left was Anthony's body on the ground, still alive, soulless.

Loki took his soul, took everything, made Anthony disappear, killed him.

Loki had only loved.

Only wanted love in return.

Instead, everything was taken from him.

He deserved it too. Deserved it all. All the horrible things that happened to him.

Anthony showed him.

He could still see it all.

Anthony hated Loki and _Loki hated Loki too._

He broke down over Anthony's body, sobbing, wheezing.

Loki was useless, a monster, no one loved him. No one ever would.

He had not gained Anthony's affection as he hoped.

Instead, Anthony would have been happy if Loki died.

Anthony would enjoy Loki's death.

He'd finally be free again.

The Avengers wouldn't need to guard him anymore, save him from Loki _over and over._

Because Loki wouldn't be there to love him anymore. Love him till death.

And after. But Loki wouldn't find Anthony there anymore.

Anthony disappeared.

Loki took his soul from his body and it was still alive. Anthony wasn't dead, not really. He just disappeared. Nothing more, nothing less.

_Loki's fault._

Loki would pay.

Soul for heart.

Death for disappearing.

He took out a knife.

***

Hours later, it was Thor that kicked down the door to the room Loki and Tony were in. Tony's phone – which had been jammed by Loki's magic when the mage had kidnapped their teammate – had suddenly connected back to Jarvis and the AI immediately reported the news to the Avengers.

Yet, despite the phone having a signal again, Jarvis didn't register any sounds, as if the phone had just been left in an empty dark room.

Thor had kicked down the door.

He didn't move, even when the other Avengers tried to push him inside the room, tried to see, hoped to save Tony.

A few minutes passed before Thor suddenly sunk to the ground, hand in front of his face. Sobs shook the god's shoulders.

View now free, the other Avengers could see what had happened for themselves.

Tony was lying on the ground, – blank, soulless – he was staring up at the ceiling, not bothered by the smell of death or the blood coming from Loki. Tony's clothes soaked in blood.

Loki was truly and utterly dead, multiple knives were still sticking out of his stomach and chest.

Blood had intermixed with desperate tears.

Loki could handle neither the truth, nor the loss of his love.

Later, when Thor had cried all the tears he could, he picked up his once-brother and brought him back to Asgard, to give him the funeral of his people.

Tony though. Tony was still alive, so the Avengers brought him home and gave him in doctors care, making sure he was healthy for whenever he would start moving on his own again.

He never did.


End file.
